Jacob Steinberg on 2 November 2017
Towards the end of Tottenham’s victory over Real Madrid on Wednesday night, the camera picked out a weeping fan in the away end. This supporter cannot have been upset about her team losing a game because that would be ridiculous. It’s not like she supports Sunderland. Maybe, then, she was shedding tears for the plight of the poor marginalised British manager.
It cannot be long before Sam Allardyce returns to the Qatari sofa to chew with Keys and Gray, to bang on about being a protected species after being overlooked for the Everton job. He had an interview with the club’s suits earlier this week but it seems they’re planning to make an offer to Burnley’s Sean Dyche. Outrageous! Another British manager overlooked in favour of the latest flavour of the month! It’s a disgrace! There’s only one thing for it if Big Sam wants to work in England again: he really needs to cultivate his Samuele Allardici character, develop an Italian accent, introduce the word trequartista to his vocabulary and work on the hand gestures.
Ally McCoist wants the Sunderland job. He plans to bring in Sue Barker and John Parrott as assistants.
Alan Pardew is apparently giving “serious consideration” to being linked with Rangers, who are looking for a new manager after axing Pedro Caixinha. An Old Firm derby between Pardew and Brendan Rodgers? The dream is on.
Liverpool are eyeing up a move for Keylor Navas after coming to the conclusion that neither Simon Mignolet nor Loris Karius are the answer in goal. Florentino Pérez doesn’t rate Navas and selling the goalkeeper could allow Real to revive their interest in David de Gea or Gianluigi Donnarumma.
José Mourinho plans to bring Andreas Pereira back from his loan at Valencia in January. He’s warmed up a nice spot on the Old Trafford bench for the midfielder.
Arsenal are preparing a shock swoop for Charly Musonda in another blow for crisis club Chelsea, while new European champions Tottenham want Celtic’s Kieran Tierney.
And finally, Gareth Bale’s Chris Coleman is ready to walk out on Wales if they don’t meet his demands of 10 more Gareth Bales.